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Through Acts of God and Idiocy

by Jack Holmes

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1.
To whom ever it concerns, please accept this letter as my official resignation I’m getting the fuck out of here as fast as I can because the last 3 years have dragged like needles over skin and I wouldn’t stay here if you paid me a kings wage for this jesters job no, I’m not stepping foot in this place again, to piss on the fire when it goes up in flames I’ll stand across the street and watch, laughing at the sight of this burning parade of Assholes leading Clowns straight into the ground Today has come as my Resignation Day
2.
I stood beside myself when I saw him in your arms, I saw you both for the very first time and at a loss of words to say, I said nothing and stood silent in your grace Troubled starts and shaky Beginnings laid no foundations for the man that you became and now you’re standing here today with the past lingering behind you and ablaze I can’t explain just how much it means to see you on your own two feet just how much it means for me to see this nest of Thorns and Salt, that you spent so much time dragging yourself through behind you and ablaze now when the crying stops and the sirens start to ring I know you’ll have this under your control Dear Brother I have seen the world and I’d give it all to see from your eyes, the suicide of the man that you used to be
3.
The months have turned to years and I’m so damn glad to see you once again, I swear but don’t get me wrong I’m dreading the high 5's and the hand shakes because once they’re gone all we’ve got are questions to fill the time so please excuse me if I don’t feel much like answering today it’s just cuz I’m still the same living this routine just as mundane You’ve been out and seen the world, and mines been getting smaller so our stories don’t compare so please excuse me if I don’t feel much like answering today its just cuz I’m still Over Weight and Under paid and never fucking laid but I know the finger of blame That I’m still over weight and underpaid and never fucking laid is pointing square at me Stuck in the same dead end job, for the same damn dead end boss as last year I’m sick of staring at the walls standing still, watching the rest of the world go by so please excuse me if I don’t feel much like talking today but please don’t worry about me, I may not be where I’m supposed to be but please don’t worry about me I’ll just keep wondering until I find a place that I can call my home
4.
The Revolution won’t be televised because Bristol is on fire and there’s no T.Vs left to buy Pavements where we drew with chalk as kids are now covered in chalk out lines and shadows cast by fireflies with the horizon in flames we’re scratching off each day that well be forced to spend wiping our own blood of our blades You say that you dream of starting anew then these bricks are meant for building and not for being used to smash the concrete and the glass these are the mistakes of our past and if we try and try, we can rebuild The sounding of the gun begins the race to take all we can get, and to get all we can take but throwing petrol bombs wont articulate our questions and the frustration in what we’re trying to say so the guilty declare war and the innocent suffer more known unto God becomes the name of he who died in vein It’s hard to sit here and not feel sick as I watch in disbelief, the place that put me on my feet making nightmares out of dreams
5.
If it takes all night, I’ll medicate myself into a state where you don’t seem to be standing a thousand miles away before this night ends and I drown myself in regrets and cowardice I swear to God that I am going to make your eyes hit mine if only for a second so that you can realize that all I am is love struck and desperately waiting for my intentions and words to meet somewhere in-between so I could tell you tonight, “You look like starlight to me” If it takes all night, I’ll navigate myself through this maze of awkward introductions and stupid things to say in a vain attempt of waking up lying next to you with my fingers in your hair and our clothes scattering the floor let’s fade to black and end this scene another lie has been sold to me It’s not like it really matters anyway because you’re the surface and I’m a thousand leagues under the see but what I wouldn’t give to feel the friction of the skin from our chests with your hands clasping gently at my neck and to feel the warmth of the fire inside your heart If my desires could realise truth, I’d fuck the last breath out of you if my intentions and words could meet somewhere in between I’d tell you tonight that “you look like star light to me” If this could be the lucky night for me or another evening of misery I will beckon you and say “I’m not ashamed”
6.
This Dead man’s town will swallow me whole, chew me up and spit me out, and leave me half a shell of the man I could have been I’d hop on plain or coach just to get out of town because my tired feet have walked these streets too many times before I’ve dragged my heels from A to B Broken, Drunk and Bored this Town aint taunting me, and in the years I’ve had I may not have learn a lot, but the one thing I’ve learnt is that the mistakes that we make aren’t always subjective to the places that we stay maybe it’s just you and we all feel trapped every once in a while Were only as free as our minds can let us be It’s been a while since I have thought about packing up my shit and getting the hell out I’m sorry mum and I’m sorry dad It’s not your faults but I can’t spend another night in this house because the liquor in my system aint making things so clear we only have to wait till morning for these thoughts to disappear this town aint taunting me, and in the years I’ve had I may not have learnt a lot but the one thing I’ve learnt is that every evening spent drinking, trying to forget breeds another morning waking up, feeling like your dead and now I know that I’m not safe because this feeling does come around
7.
Jump in with your eyes wide open and breath in the air and the scenes that allow us to believe that we are something more than just the sum of our parts we’re more than dead end jobs, bank balances and broken hearts Frustration carves it on your arm, stop crawling your way through the day stand up and start to walk How long did the clock hands have to turn for it to take me to learn that waking up with nothing is better than waking up something that you could barely care about as your feet drag like anchors and your eye lids weigh you down just to meaninglessly decorate the walls of a cell financial security can’t ever save you from yourself I may not know who I want to be and I may well have still have to sleep on someone else’s floor but I’m not angry anymore because waking up with nothing is better than waking up for nothing
8.
Whiskeyburn 03:10
There’s some places that I haven’t been, stones I’ve left unturned Roads to travel I haven’t yet trod, the sun is setting because the World will keep on spinning out side of these office walls and time will keep on ticking no matter how hard we stall so let’s not forget that were living on borrowed time it isn’t ours to throw away There’s some people I haven’t met The bastards and the dogs that hold me acquaintance for granted, not grandeur Aren’t worth their weight in salt I refuse for my closing scenes to be a reflection of chances not taken and wasted opportunity’s
9.
I’ve got no problem being bored, juvenile and insecure because I’m only dragging myself down but I’d break every bone I have bending backwards just to prove to you that I’m capable of more So let these shallow little words blur out the deeper truth just so long as you’re aware that I’m not biting this bullet, I’m being pushed in front of it so let’s not kid about what this is We’re the beating heart of rotting flesh Were Lungs without a breath Were the echoes of a song that tired but couldn’t change the world Were the echoes of a song that tried but couldn’t save the world And I know your shit scared so please just take my hand and let my heart beat for the both of us
10.
We’re acting like kids acting like adults, swinging our feet staring at the ground and we can both see how pathetic this is, to watch ourselves as we run circles, afraid to trip and fall Another train ride, with a stomach full of knots and a lack of incite I can’t fucking stand not knowing what you’re thinking, as I’m running out of breath and so if you ever need me, you always know where you can find me I’ll paint our names on a padlock and clip it to the Meteor Street Bridge And Dogs can’t look up because Big Al says so it seems stupid not to give this a go this situation’s tightened its grip on our throats but I’m not out of breath just yet And I would never hesitate to wish this was something different but I would never wish away everything you’ve been given I’d give you every choice I have, every angle I can turn because the romance in being free isn’t half what it is when you’re alone
11.
Rope (Part III) These Ribs are closing in on a heart that’s barley pumping blood so hot the inside of my veins are scalded with the characters of your name So you stand here after all it takes to reach the end of this path that we paved holding nothing but mistakes staring at the ground shamefully avoiding gaze So breathe in and I’ll breathe out and together we can drag this to the ground You’ve earned your rope and I’ve earned that anger to watch you choke I won’t ever be here again, you’ve taken more from me that I was willing to give So good bye and fare well, but forgive me if I don’t wish you all my best With Nails digging in the palms of my hand and knuckles yearning for an even score I’ll clench my fists but restrain because the silence you created between us Says even more These flames paint a picture, a burning bridge that screams “We’ve taken this too far” So when all the smoke clears we can see ourselves for who we really are

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Through Acts of God and Idiocy - Jack Holmes 2013

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released May 4, 2013

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Jack Holmes Wien, Austria

Some song writers serenade you with beautifully preformed 3 minute mixtures of well-crafted lyrics, skilled playing and angelic singing. Jack Holmes is not one of these song writers. The exiled Englishman, now seeking refuge in the streets of Vienna, is to Acoustic Music what losing your virginity is in comparison to your repertoire of sexual encounters; fast, loud and just a little awkward. ... more

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